Thursday, September 3, 2015

A Fresh Start

A few months ago, I became a stay at home mom to my two energetic little girls. Although I was prepared for shifts in many areas of our life, including our financial choices, housework duties, and participation in toddler activities, I never expected my personal transition to be a very difficult one, especially given that I had still been supplying all of the childcare duties. However, when it came to my identity, I realized I had put a lot of stock in external factors, making people proud of me and my usefulness to others.

I really didn't know who I was anymore, as I'd spent all my time being devoted to being wife, mother, and employee. I felt like a politician, standing for family values, but having fairly hollow representation of them. For the first time in years, there was time in the day to think about who I wanted to be and what specific values I thought were most important for my family to live up to.

Marianne Williamson wrote, “It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”
Looking back to my adolescence, I often struggled with finding myself and my passions, focusing on acceptance by my peers. I rarely chose the challenging opportunities that would lead to greater introspection.
In a time of unlimited distractions to consume our time, it's easy to see how one can lack self worth, self respect, and self love, when ultimately you lack a sense of self.

My journey of self discovery is far from complete, but I see the benefits of my progress every day. I am so grateful to my husband for supporting us through this adventure and see that I will be so much better prepared in guiding my children to find their sense of self as they get older. 

To the parents out there feeling lost, I urge you to take some time to reconnect with who you are. Your identity as a parent and role model for your child can even make parenting a much more enjoyable experience.